& then she realized he was all she ever wanted.

I stopped blogging cos Alan & I got back together.
He’s at Riverside for the weekend.
Maybe I’m just overreacting, but I commented him telling him to message me with a way to reach him cos you know I wanna talk to him and stuff, but uhmmmm I didnt get no comment back =/  Eh, whatever.

I am so in love with him it’s crazy.  But it sucks that I can’t tell him how badly I wanna spend the rest of my life with him.  But I do, oh yes I do.
& I know he loves me too.  I saw him prove it, & he didn’t ever know I was there (:

But I’m terrified because college has a lot of girls way prettier and less annoying than I am.  Then why don’t I change those undesirable qualities, you ask?  Well, cos this is who I am & I’m not restraining myself because… I just won’t.

So uhm I’m in the Academic Decathlon & basically what that means is I stay after school from 3:30 to 5:30 from Monday to Thursday, until 8:00 on Fridays, and from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm on Saturdays.  My team is growing as a family.

Today we got bored to reading fucking Charles Darwin’s stupid fucking diary & so Darius & I were just having a conversation.  It was interesting, I got to know him a lot.  He even walked me to the library even though he lived like a block from school.  It was just very interesting how our stories run parallel to each other.  His girlfriend is just like my boyfriend, & basically we have the same problem.  Very interesting.

APs are a bitch.

Today, I
1. Woke up at 7:00 am, did my thang.  Left home at 8:00 am.
2. Rode the pretty red nice-smelling bus with Collins.
3. Went straight to Ms. Lee’s award-winning Expo room to get my shit straight for the AP Studio Art Exam thingayy on Friday YIKES.

Ok so it was like all us AP Art kids in there organizing our slides.  It was really exciting, seeing that I actually do have some form of artistic ability.  Anyways we were supposed to arrange our portfolio & mat & frame 5 of our best.  Ok that shit took from like 8:30 am to like 2:00 pm for me for reals & I was losing it, literally.  I was freaking out and for the first time in my life I was able to admit that YES I AM OVERWHELMED WITH WHAT I HAVE OVERBURDENED MYSELF WITH.

4. Went to Mr. Chase to tell him I wasnt able to come to class today & he got mad at me because he said I was neglecting AP U.S. BOOO I know I know I get his perspective.  I just have wayyy too much on my plate right now.  He gave me a practice test anyways after he told me he wasnt gonna.  I finished answering it, now I just gotta write like FOUR PRACTICE ESSAYS SON OF A BITCH.

5. After Art, I sat outside.  The whether was a bitch, it was making Anton feel “unpretty.”  Uhuh, SUUURREEEE it was the weather.

So I got in an interesting argument with him about a certain person who just so happens to be the number one candidate for Valedictorian.  (Surprise surprise, or sorry to disappoint you, rather, but it ain’t Irina & I am mad pissed about that.)  I think she’s kinda cocky.  Anton said that she has a right to be cocky & that pissed me off because in my opinion nobody has the fucking right to be cocky NOBODY IN THE FUCKING WORLD DESERVES TO BE COCKY.  Anton’s like “Well she has the best grades, she’s on a sports team & she has a boyfriend” SO WHAT?!  I dont give a shit, don’t feel like you’re the shit and make it so obvious that you’re better than everybody else.

DISCLAIMER: Of course I do not know her personally but from what I experience as an outside observer and from what I hear from other people, I judge.  I know that’s very gay of me but so what, I am entitled to my own opinion leave me the fuck alone don’t hate !

Basically the point was just that no matter how much you have NOBODY HAS THE RIGHT TO BE COCKY. Jesus christ there are billions of people who try harder than her to get good grades and they do the best they can and achieve according to their abilities & so that does not make her any better than anybody else.  She has it so easy for her.  Her parents probably love her, who knows.

So yeah that’s my rant.  Imma go study for Calculus now, the test is manana & I am freaking out.  But not really, it’s like whatevers.